The Vedas teach us that sex is a profound experience that moves beyond
It sheds light on the possibilities within sex and inspires us to expand
consciousness, opening our hearts to ourselves and others with more passion. It
teaches that sexual desire is a yearning for intimacy between ourselves and the
divine. Ayurveda never separates the mind, body and soul. When we try to
act for the body alone, we never satisfy the true hunger from which our desires
arise. Intimacy is the union of the whole self.
According to the Vedas, life can be divided into four main concerns : spiritual pursuits
(dharma), economic pursuits (artha), pleasure pursuits (kama) and liberation
from the cycle of reincarnation (moksha).Creating fulfillment requires wisdom
and the ability to appropriately navigate one’s desires. If the pursuit of
pleasure, contradicts life’s other pursuits, sex becomes lacking. Instead of
nourishing our desires it only fuels more. In Ayurveda, it is advised to follow
certain observances and create mindfulness with sex. Sex is intended for us to
find pleasure, give pleasure, and feel in harmony with our natural sexual
beings. As intelligent beings, we must understand how to use sex in a way
that promotes health and happiness.
Treat sex as a sacred ritual. Create a “Sacred Space” (see blog article on
Sacred Space)that provides a feast for all your sense organs. Learn how colors
and aromas can arouse. Find music that makes your hips find their groove. Sex is
sexy and fun, and it is at the basis of life. Treat it as a teacher and a friend
and you will move beyond just the physical layer of pleasure. Be attentive to
your partner’s desires. Learn the contours of their body with your eyes closed.
Hold them with your hands and your heart. Create a dance that becomes better
Don’t get too attached though and don’t assume more of a great thing is a better
thing. Too much sex (some might say there is no such thing) is regarded in Ayurveda
as a detriment to health. Sex itself is not bad, as some religions might
point out. Ayurveda recognizes the need for an appropriate application of all
things in life to bring about a state of wellness. An excess of sex puts strain
on the nervous system, increases qualities of vata and lowers overall vitality.
Hippocrites once said, "Individuals who do not regulate their sexual impulses are more prone
to loss of strength, weak immune function, and various diseases owing to
depletion of vitality. Those who regulate their sexual energy will have
increased memory, power, intelligence, health, and
Vata, the unpredictable romantic, welcomes mental foreplay and stimulating
conversation as a preferred aphrodisiac. The anxiety prone Vata can benefit
greatly from soothing touch, calming aromas, and peaceful
The natural passion and fire of pitta gives a force to their lovemaking style. Pitta
can be prone to competing for the esteem of their ego, so it is good for a pitta
to remember to tune in to their partners more. Learning to redirect their
feelings through their heart rather than their genitals will help to chill out
these hot lovers.
These calm, gentle lovers embody endurance, affection and sensitivity. They are
nurturing lovers, but need encouragement to explore new aspects of themselves.
An enthusiastic, more passionate partner can offer Kapha types the motivation to
lighten up and get more creative!
PHASES OF DESIRE AND DEEPER MEANING
Each phase of life presents us with different energy and focus. There is a time for
growing, gaining wisdom and learning ourselves. There is a time for harvesting
from our efforts, and dedicating our energy towards family. There is a time for
reflection, slowing down and needing less. If we live in accordance with
what each phase offers and brings then we sustain our energies and savor life’s
pleasures more fully.
The sexual revolution of the 1960s sought to expand our understanding of sex beyond
the religious constraints of sex as sin. Great attention was placed on the
physical act of sex and freeing it from its notorious negative implications.
Yet, there was a failure to acknowledge the emotional and spiritual implications
of sex. The pursuit of pleasure, though emphasized by sex, is grounded in our
ability to expand our heart and transform our ever evolving beings.
The Bhagavad-Gita, states that lust is the greatest enemy, as it leads to
self-absorption and deluded meaning in life. Increasing our capacity to
give and receive love is life’s greatest lesson, challenge and gift.
This week’s challenge is to give yourself to love, to make love with all your heart
and to go deeper into your desires. “ When you perceive yourself as spirit, you
will not simply feel love you will be love” - Deepak Chopra
Be Healthy, Be Happy and Make Good Love!
Ayurvedic Health Educator